3 up - 3 down

Being a farm dog comes with its up and downs. Rather than spending the day staring at the world through a glass window, my dogs get to enjoy the life they've been bred for - farm collies. They guard the house, move the goats, carry tools, collect eggs, patrol the pastures, patrol the pastures, and patrol the pastures. While moving the goats is the most fun work, and carrying tools is admittedly long and hot work, guarding the house and patrolling the pastures are a farm dog's bread and butter. It does, however, come with certain risks.

Since the recent loss of poultry from an enterprising bobcat, I have stepped up pasture patrol. The two farm collies and the bloodhound have been happy to oblige. So after work each night, the four of us patrol the pasture before heading to bed. We are often accompanied by three or four half-grown kittens. Their eyes glow amber in my flashlight beam as they play Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat in the wake of the House Wolves crisscrossing my light in their hunt for a bobcat or any other excitement that can be stirred up at 1 AM.

Last night Excitement found us. Like fighter jets, all three dogs zoomed across the back pasture. I shined my high-powered beam in their direction and caught Ice running beside a most curious black creature with a very long tail. I'd never seen Pepe run that fast. In fact, I'd never seen Pepe run at all.

The largest skunk in Brazoria County lives in my hay barn. For the most part, we co-exist peacefully with Pepe. I give him plenty of warning when I go to get hay, and he slips out the back until I'm finished. Research has proven the Pepe is a male since it was determined that he has a distaste for chocolate-covered strawberries and clearly, no female of any species will turn her nose up at chocolate-covered strawberries, thus - Pepe is a male.

At that distance, angle and speed, it was difficult for me to discern exactly what that long-tailed black creature was, but it clearly was NOT a creature that shares my Steinhauser's Feed Store bill, so I hastened to call the dogs back. The shepherds galloped back immediately, but Alice, in typical Bloodhound fashion, shot me the bird and continued onward toward her destiny. Pepe slowed his gallop (skunks actually gallop, whodathunkit?), and Alice caught up with him. Oh well. In for a penny, in for a pound. Three up, three down.

The smell of burning rubber arrived a nanosecond after the first dog landed at my feet. While I felt a bit sorry for the Belgians, who rolled around the pasture in agony, the sneezing Alice elicited no sympathy whatsoever. Perhaps the next time I call her, she'll come. Nah... probably not.

Now their problem had become mine. Doggy doors are wonderful things - until your entire pack gets sprayed by a single skunk. I had visions of the dogs rubbing against my couch in their furious attempts to rub off the now-clinging Pepe. Kona had abandoned rolling in the grass to opt for rolling in the sand pile. Since he was already wet from the dew, the sand stuck to him. Like a Canine Sand Castle he rose and shook himself.

"Better?" he asked.

"No, not better. Now you stink AND you look stupid. You're not coming in my house like that."

"Do WHAT??!!! But I ALWAYS sleep in the house!"

"Not tonight you don't."

"But what about the Boogey Man? How can you sleep tonight if I'm not there to guard you from the Boogey Man?!"

I took a cautious sniff, and the burning rubber assaulted my nose. Ice was still rolling on the patio while Alice continued to sneeze. Like a sphinx, Kona stared at me, still covered in sand. No Boogey Man in his right mind would be here tonight. But since I'm a believer in democracy, we took a quick vote. The geese voted to move the dogs into the house, but since the geese are under-age, and clearly not old enough to vote, the cats and I won. The dogs slept on the patio last night.

:) s

Haiku & The Griswalds

I know better than to fall in love with someone near the bottom of the food chain, but I did it anyway. Monday morning I let the geese out and there was the pitter patter of four little pairs of feet behind me. I turned around and counted... one ...two...three... four ???? Where's #5!!

That damned bobcat had come into my barn and stolen Haiku! The cat climbed over a 6' tall chain link fence that was under a porch to come into an enclosed barn and grab little Haiku. Two little downy feathers were found in the pasture. That's it. No evidence the bobcat was even in there except that the rest of the babies are traumatized. I immediately moved their 6' tall dog kennel and set it up outside my bedroom window. My own dogs should be able to patrol that area and if the cat comes that close to the house, I'll know it.

I'm about to run electric wire across the top of all my fences. I'm also planning on letting my dogs patrol the fence along the canal more frequently.

Poor little Haiku. She was the one who was always tugging on my pants leg and untying my shoestrings. Now drastic measures must be taken to protect the rest of the Gang.

Bling is simply beside herself with delight. Christmas came early this year. To protect the Apple Dumpling Gang from the Boogey Beast Bobcat I have peeked back down the Evolutionary Ladder and taken some hints from the Caveman. When you've got a saber-tooth tiger in the neighborhood, it's time to stoke the fire!

And stoke the fire, I did! The kids have Christmas Lights! By the time I got their new living arrangements set up, it was dark. As I draped lights around their dog kennel, the geese chattered and generally made a point of calling every predator in Brazoria County - until I plugged in the cord. There was silence. They stared at their new Christmas lights in awe, like pilgrims in a stained glass cathedral. Bling stood with her little mouth slack, delirious at so much sparkle, so much BLING! The Apple Dumpling Gang watched in silence, colors dancing in their beady little eyes. Chevy Chase, look out! They had become Griswalds

Sexing Geese and Other Mundane Farm Chores

Tripping over a dead rat is a more powerful morning "pick-me-up" than all the coffee Juan Valdez ever produced. Thus began my day.

With coffee in hand, I slid the back door open to marvel at God's rural blessings - horses nickering in the morning mist, the faint chatter of geese in the barn, chickens cackling a greeting, hungry kittens chirping at my feet, flies buzzing on the patio. ...... Flies?

Hmmmmmmm....... I know that sound. I'm a crime scene investigator; I KNOW that sound. Fortunately my friends, the flies, saved me from actually stepping on the rather unwelcome morning guest who lay on my patio. His appearance threw a monkey wrench into our routine and this upset all the hungry stomachs along the cafeteria line, for while I was off in search of a shovel to remove the rat, they were NOT getting their breakfast.

Horses started pawing and pounding, geese began screaming, and cats stood beside their bowls and cried. Chaos reigned while the dogs and I removed the rat. (Their only role in this chore was running back and forth to hurry me along my task but they were quite serious about it.)

There was much internal debate. I have six cats. If I threw that rotting rodent anywhere the cats could reach, his little furry, fly-bait self would be back on my porch, so I flung that dead rat into a pampas grass bush in the corner of my property.

As soon as I set the shovel down and resumed the regular routine, harmony was restored. I fed the cats, fed the horses, fed the geese, fed the chickens, took the dogs on a walk, turned the goats out, moved the horses, fed the dogs, and then --- turned the geese out.

It was time to sit back in my lawn chair and enjoy my coffee while I watched them explore their world. But there was a problem. They didn't want to explore their world today. They wanted to explore ME. So much for relaxing. This did, however, give me greater opportunity to observe personalities. As yet, the only way I can tell them apart is by their beaks. Each goose has a dinstinctive cream-colored mark on his or her beak. Once I figured this out, individual personalities emerged. I gave them temporary names using the beak marks (Dot, Stripe, Hook, Snip, and Blank) They will get real names when I can figure out their sex and personality.

Dot has already become Speck because I think he is a male. He is larger than the others and the most shy. Speck always puts himself on the fringes of the group and avoid contact with me. I'm still waiting on a permanent name for him (or her).

Stripe is the boldest. I think he is a male, but the jury is still out. He is also larger. Stripe is the first to chase the cat, first chase the goat, and explore his enviornment.

Hook has become Haiku. I don't know if he is male or female, but the hook-shaped marking has now changed to look like some kind of Oriental writing. Haiku is the goose most liking to be pulling your pants leg or untying your shoe.

Snip is still waiting on a name. Also tremendously friendly. Screams bloody murder when you pick him up, but comes right back for more as soon as you set him down. LOVES attention.

Blank has officially become BLING. I have suspected that Bling is female because she is smaller and more delicate than the others. Bling is also the goose most likely to grab jewelry. She adores my ring. A toe ring would simply send her into waves of hysterical delight. Today I decided for certain the Bling is a girl, because today she ran off with one of my bright pink Crocs flip-flops. Bling grabbed up that flip-flop and waddled off with Snip and Haiku in hot pursuit. That girl has some smooth moves and would be an asset to any basketball team. Yessirree, give that girl some jewelry and bright pink flip-flops!

:) s