Storm Ponies
There is a reason why doggy doors are only so big. They are not designed for Porch Ponies with fat asses.
Last night at 3:30 am, I was happily catching some z’s with the Border Collie (who was hogging the bed) when the phone rang. Other Half was on duty and was in the middle of a Hell Storm. I tried to decipher what he was saying as the rain pounded horizontally against his truck. It sounded a lot like: Bad Storm. Headed my way. Close windows on horse trailer.
I allowed as how it was 3:30 AM and I really did NOT want to get out of bed to save the horse trailer floor from getting wet. (After all, don’t horses pee in there?) Other Half was less than impressed with my reasoning and continued to discuss things that needed to be done (at 3:30 AM!) before the storm hit. I could hear the thunder cracking through the phone lines. Poor Other Half, he was outside in that. (Hmmmm.. .. sucks to be him..) That’s when I thought of my Porch Ponies! Oh my!
The very notion that my beloved Porch Ponies might get wet galvanized me right out of bed. (YES! I know! The ponies might get wet! Or be scared! Perish that thought!) So I quickly slipped on some baggy yoga pants and cowboy boots. Fashion diva, that’s me!
Much to her dismay, I left Border Collie in the house, and chose to take Kona, the Brown Wolf to accompany me as I went out at 3:35 AM to prepare for the Hell Storm. Although Lily the Border Collie is an excellent farm dog, she is only 6 months old and not much help as a guard dog in the middle of the night. It has been said that she has an Alligator Mouth with a Butterfly Butt. The Brown Wolf was a much better choice for night maneuvers. So Border Collie pouted while The Brown Wolf and I stepped out into the Night.
The wind had picked up and lightning flashed like strobe lights in the distance. I decided to move Porch Ponies into back yard so that they could go into the barn aisle and hang out with the Big Horses. They were delighted. Napolean immediately headed for the Feed Room. I considered shutting the door, but decided that unless he climbed a ladder, The Tiny Emperor could not possibly reach the feed bin. Checked to make sure there were no ladders available. (Hey, he’s a smart little booger!)
Ruffy discovered dog water bucket and began sucking down water like he had been in the desert for days. Hmmm… dog water bucket surely must taste like Bloodhound spit. Napolean wanders over to check out the bucket. Moves Ruffy out of way to savor the Bloodhound-Spit Water for himself. Apparently it was yummy because he kept going back for more. This made me wonder if I had perhaps been derelict in my role as a Pony Mom and had allowed the water trough in their pasture to get too low. Checked it. Nope, it was full. Ponies must just like Bloodhound Spit.
Checked Big Horses. They were fine. Curious about Tiny Visitors, but otherwise, they were ready to brave Hurricane Force Winds With Horizontal Rain. Ponies were like kids on a field trip. Napolean found the goat hay. (not so yummy) Knocked down some buckets. (oops, ma bad!) Female weanling goats stuck their heads out of the shed to point out that it was 3:50 AM and SOME people on this farm were trying to get some SLEEP! Male weanling goats woke up and started screaming from their pen. I assured them that they were calling every predator in Brazoria County and they would be wise to Shut Up.
Porch Ponies soon bored of the barn and wandered outside to graze. Brown Wolf and I returned to the house as the first drops of rain fell. Gave rest of dogs a quick bathroom break and let Calico Kittens Who Grew Up to Become Calico Cats into house. Climbed into bed with Miffed Border Collie. She snuggled up to my pillow and forgave me for leaving her in the house. Other Half calls again. He was headed home, but now he is headed to a call. Three Suspects on the Ground. Other Half and Police Dog are about to become Very Wet. (remind God how thankful I am that he gave me Other Half and ask him look over Other Half and Police Dog)
Confident that my prayers are heard, I snuggle with Border Collie as Hell Storm hits. Worry about Porch Ponies. They are tiny. They might get wet. It crosses my mind that I could bring Porch Ponies in house with dogs and cats. (very briefly…… the image of Border Collie and Other Half having Collective Shit Fit chases the idea out very quickly)
That’s when I heard the doggy door smack open.
I waited. I waited for the pitter patter of little hooves across the tile. The storm raged as I debated whether or not to allow the ponies to stay in the Utility Room. After all, how much trouble would two miniature horses cause to a washer and a dryer? (and maybe they would fold the clothes on the dryer!) I waited, but it was silent. Finally, curiosity got the best of me. Border Collie and I crawled out of bed and padded across the house to the Utility Room. I cautiously opened the door. Bloodhound yawned at me. Hmmmm… no ponies in here, just a smelly dog with long ears.
I looked out in the rain. Storm Ponies were happily hanging out in the storm. (and I was worried they might get wet.) By the time I was crawling back in bed, Other Half was calling to let me know that Suspects were caught and that he and Police Dog were all right - they were on their way home. I could go back to sleep now.
As my head hit the pillow, I thanked God again for Other Half, Porch Ponies, and Border Collies that hogged the bed.
There is a reason why doggy doors are only so big. They are not designed for Porch Ponies with fat asses.
Last night at 3:30 am, I was happily catching some z’s with the Border Collie (who was hogging the bed) when the phone rang. Other Half was on duty and was in the middle of a Hell Storm. I tried to decipher what he was saying as the rain pounded horizontally against his truck. It sounded a lot like: Bad Storm. Headed my way. Close windows on horse trailer.
I allowed as how it was 3:30 AM and I really did NOT want to get out of bed to save the horse trailer floor from getting wet. (After all, don’t horses pee in there?) Other Half was less than impressed with my reasoning and continued to discuss things that needed to be done (at 3:30 AM!) before the storm hit. I could hear the thunder cracking through the phone lines. Poor Other Half, he was outside in that. (Hmmmm.. .. sucks to be him..) That’s when I thought of my Porch Ponies! Oh my!
The very notion that my beloved Porch Ponies might get wet galvanized me right out of bed. (YES! I know! The ponies might get wet! Or be scared! Perish that thought!) So I quickly slipped on some baggy yoga pants and cowboy boots. Fashion diva, that’s me!
Much to her dismay, I left Border Collie in the house, and chose to take Kona, the Brown Wolf to accompany me as I went out at 3:35 AM to prepare for the Hell Storm. Although Lily the Border Collie is an excellent farm dog, she is only 6 months old and not much help as a guard dog in the middle of the night. It has been said that she has an Alligator Mouth with a Butterfly Butt. The Brown Wolf was a much better choice for night maneuvers. So Border Collie pouted while The Brown Wolf and I stepped out into the Night.
The wind had picked up and lightning flashed like strobe lights in the distance. I decided to move Porch Ponies into back yard so that they could go into the barn aisle and hang out with the Big Horses. They were delighted. Napolean immediately headed for the Feed Room. I considered shutting the door, but decided that unless he climbed a ladder, The Tiny Emperor could not possibly reach the feed bin. Checked to make sure there were no ladders available. (Hey, he’s a smart little booger!)
Ruffy discovered dog water bucket and began sucking down water like he had been in the desert for days. Hmmm… dog water bucket surely must taste like Bloodhound spit. Napolean wanders over to check out the bucket. Moves Ruffy out of way to savor the Bloodhound-Spit Water for himself. Apparently it was yummy because he kept going back for more. This made me wonder if I had perhaps been derelict in my role as a Pony Mom and had allowed the water trough in their pasture to get too low. Checked it. Nope, it was full. Ponies must just like Bloodhound Spit.
Checked Big Horses. They were fine. Curious about Tiny Visitors, but otherwise, they were ready to brave Hurricane Force Winds With Horizontal Rain. Ponies were like kids on a field trip. Napolean found the goat hay. (not so yummy) Knocked down some buckets. (oops, ma bad!) Female weanling goats stuck their heads out of the shed to point out that it was 3:50 AM and SOME people on this farm were trying to get some SLEEP! Male weanling goats woke up and started screaming from their pen. I assured them that they were calling every predator in Brazoria County and they would be wise to Shut Up.
Porch Ponies soon bored of the barn and wandered outside to graze. Brown Wolf and I returned to the house as the first drops of rain fell. Gave rest of dogs a quick bathroom break and let Calico Kittens Who Grew Up to Become Calico Cats into house. Climbed into bed with Miffed Border Collie. She snuggled up to my pillow and forgave me for leaving her in the house. Other Half calls again. He was headed home, but now he is headed to a call. Three Suspects on the Ground. Other Half and Police Dog are about to become Very Wet. (remind God how thankful I am that he gave me Other Half and ask him look over Other Half and Police Dog)
Confident that my prayers are heard, I snuggle with Border Collie as Hell Storm hits. Worry about Porch Ponies. They are tiny. They might get wet. It crosses my mind that I could bring Porch Ponies in house with dogs and cats. (very briefly…… the image of Border Collie and Other Half having Collective Shit Fit chases the idea out very quickly)
That’s when I heard the doggy door smack open.
I waited. I waited for the pitter patter of little hooves across the tile. The storm raged as I debated whether or not to allow the ponies to stay in the Utility Room. After all, how much trouble would two miniature horses cause to a washer and a dryer? (and maybe they would fold the clothes on the dryer!) I waited, but it was silent. Finally, curiosity got the best of me. Border Collie and I crawled out of bed and padded across the house to the Utility Room. I cautiously opened the door. Bloodhound yawned at me. Hmmmm… no ponies in here, just a smelly dog with long ears.
I looked out in the rain. Storm Ponies were happily hanging out in the storm. (and I was worried they might get wet.) By the time I was crawling back in bed, Other Half was calling to let me know that Suspects were caught and that he and Police Dog were all right - they were on their way home. I could go back to sleep now.
As my head hit the pillow, I thanked God again for Other Half, Porch Ponies, and Border Collies that hogged the bed.
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